The Maggotdrowners Forum - A compelling tale, before you go to the new server
The Maggotdrowners Forum
Username: Password: Save Password
    GENERAL TOOLS:  Home Page | MaggotMail | Active Topics | Search | FAQ | Calendar | Old Classifieds | Contact us | Advertise | Online Store
    MEMBER TOOLS:    Log In or Click Here to Register and access these tools.   |   Forgot your Username and/or Password?


To go to the New Forums please click this link: THE NEW MAGGOTDROWNERS FORUM

Important - If this is your first time logging into the new Forums you will need to reset your Password
as your previous password will not work - Click to Reset Password

If you have any problems logging in or resetting your password, please contact us with your Username and Email Address using this link Contact Us and we will get you back in as soon as possible. Alternatively email with your name and username


The Maggotdrowners Forums have moved however the content of the old forum can stll be viewed even though no further replies can be added. All this content (and more) can be found by going to our new forums. To go to the New Forums please click this link: THE NEW MAGGOTDROWNERS FORUM

 All Forums
 The Corner Peg
 A compelling tale, before you go to the new server
 Forum Locked  Printer Friendly
Author  Topic Next Topic  

Havin' a Waggle !


Member Since
26 October 2004

Posts: 5294

My Photo Album

Posted - 20 April 2018 :  7:50:58 PM  Show Profile Bookmark this topic Add muskrat to your friends list

Once upon a time a daring Victorian adventurer discovered an ancient book that contained instructions on how to build a "Glub-glub-glub box". Following the instructions to the letter he set off for Peru and then trekked through the jungle until finally he reached Machu Picchu. At the very summit of a steep hill on the north side of the ancient city as the book predicted there was a huge tree. He cut a small lower branch from the tree and carefully fashioned it into a small square, not unlike a coaster, then carefully stored it in his rucksack.

Next the book proscribed a visit to Egypt and the great pyramids of Gisa. It took two weeks for the boat to get to Egypt, and two days camel ride to get to the pyramids. But again, as the book described there was a small piece of wood secreted just below one of the sphinx's paws. Carefully extracting it he again made it into a square and stashed it in his rucksack.

After Egypt, The Congo was his next stop. Many days trekking through almost impenetrable jungle saw him eventually arrive at a clearing near a waterfall. As soon as he arrived he was surrounded by naked natives, angry and armed with vicious spears. It took him a lot of persuasion and a lot of trinkets to eventually pacify them and convince them he was not a threat to them. They then agreed to help him to retrieve another small piece of wood hidden behind the waterfall. Again he whittled it into a square shape and put it away in his backpack.

Consulting the book once more he found himself heading for Easter Island, where one of the giant heads had a particular marking and was scribed to be 20 paces North from the 'treasure'. It took him a month to get there. But finally he located the special head, paced out the 20 paces and began to dig. Sure enough a few feet down he found a piece of petrified wood which he carefully cut into a square shape and saved with the others in his rucksack.

The book was rather unclear about the location of the fifth piece. It could have translated as Iraq or Israel. Either was possible. Choosing Israel to try first, the adventurer booked passage to Jerusalem. Once there he calculated where the centre of the city was and walked a mile South, as instructed by the ancient book. At exactly a mile from the centre he found a small holy shrine at the side of the road. Beneath this shrine was a piece of very dark, almost black wood already in a square shape of a similar size to the others he held. But this one had a strange square hole in it's centre. He examined it carefully, then stored it with the others.

According to the ancient book he had only one more piece to find. This time he was directed to Stonehenge in Salisbury, England. Again, after many days travel he arrived in Blighty and made his way to his destination. Gently poking under the great central 'altar' stone, he found the final piece of wood. This one was misshapen like the first four and had an almost bluish tinge. He took out his knife and made this piece into the final square required by the ancient tome.

The next series of instructions directed him to concoct a sacred glue formula from 'the sap of an oak and the fat of an horse'. This took him many hours and many failures before he eventually had sufficient 'sacred glue' to perform the next phase.

Painstakingly translating every instruction in the book, he carefully glued all six pieces of wood into a hollow cube box. Each side made of a different wood and a different grain and colour; with one side having a mysterious square hole in it.

The final chapter of the ancient book was faded and disintegrating. But he worked out that to begin, he must take the box on a long sea voyage 'across the widest ocean'. He chartered a galleon and set off for the Pacific deeps.

One month, one week and one day into the voyage he consulted the last pages of the unique ancient book. As it directed he carried the box up onto the deck. Then he walked to the side rail and hefted the box with all his might into the foaming briny sea.

And the "Glub-glub-glub box" went "Glub Glub Glub!" and was gone forever.

And you have just read a classic shaggy dog story!

Edited by - muskrat on 20 April 2018 7:55:52 PM
   Topic Next Topic  
 Forum Locked  Printer Friendly
Jump To:    Contact us    Disclaimer    Donations    Support MDs    MaggotMail Login, 2001 - 2018 Go To Top Of Page

Snitz Forums 2000
Display: 0.03 seconds.